gold house

by Chelsey Weber-Smith

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released January 5, 2016



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Chelsey Weber-Smith Seattle, Washington

suburban sad sack outlaw country

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Track Name: new humans
Muses come again to me, leaving the gold house.
Do your cool thoughts and wanton heart
still weight upon your brow?
I felt it too on the hill of the muse
staring at the Aegean Sea.
What worries you, my tenth dark muse,
well, it worries me.

Phaedo laid his perfect head on the lap of Socrates.
He loved him then at the trials end
and he cried into his knees.
Old Socrates would still drink the tea
and twist Phaedo’s golden curls.
The last thing he said was to fix a debt
and then he died quiet for the world.

Oh, what love.

Lorca raised his heavy head to stare into the trees.
He didn’t know how but he held dark sound
in his small body.
They killed him then, you know they shot him dead,
scared of that true beauty.
More powerful than the cry of the war
was a love a lightning.

In a dream Johnny saw a picture of the new humans.
They were beautiful, blue skinned and bright,
they were soft and genderless.
And when they spoke, not through their throats
but through their golden eyes,
the whole of the world was a golden curl
sheered from the lamb of the sky.

And oh, what love.

When the pastor says God,
well I just replace it with Love.
Rilke said it can’t come until the end.
So don’t wait for a savior,
save your own savior,
because all of us will add up to one.
We are what makes it come,
when all us add up to one.

When I meditate your body enters mine.
I am blue and so are you
and we lie in the yellow light.
It is more than love it is a step above
see we are crosses on the sun.
You are more than you in electric blue
you’ve got the shine of a chosen one.

Oh, we are love.
Track Name: suburbs
I grew up in a suburb far away from here,
in love with love but more afraid of fear.
But there's a quiet place that I find everywhere.
The world didn't end my friends we are still here.

And I dreamed a dream,
we were children again.
No parents, we left them
to meet in a field with the night slowly coming in.

I'm trying to take care of all the people I love.
I'm trying to take care of even those I have lost.
But there's a secret place where everything is as it was.
It's a field in the night you can find if you're quiet enough.

And I've seen a scene
where the ocean meets the cliffs.
We've been there and we'll be there
for the rest of our lives, held inside of it.

Every time I dream I dream of you.
Every time I dream the sky falls down on me
and I wonder if you dream of me,
if you still see the same thing I see.
Track Name: always together
Don't worry baby, everything is coming good
We took all that we needed now we're giving back all we took.
And it's a lie that we aren't always together,
we'll walk the railroad tracks, we'll walk forever.
Walk with me now.

Don't worry mama, everything is working out
just go ahead and breathe all this air we forgot about.
And it's a lie that weren’t always together
we share the same lives and we share them forever.
Share it with me now.

The air I am breathing now, I know it was once in you
when I feel lonely so so alone, I breathe like I used to
before all this fear broke us, before it shattered us all apart
like the devil was made from God's first doubting thought.

Don't worry darling, you know that I love you still.
The one thing I can promise is that somehow I always will.
And it's a lie that we aren’t always together,
we share this same life and we share it forever.
Share it with me now.

Don't worry my friends, you are doing wonderfully.
Sometimes when I think of it all I wanna do is weep.
And it's a lie that we aren’t always together.
We sing the same song and we sing it forever.
Sing with me now.

I'll try to love you better than you do
if you try to love me for the things I'd like to be

The air I am breathing now, I swear it was once in you
when you feel lonely so so alone, just breathe like you used to
before this fear broke us, before it shattered us both apart
like the devil was made from God's first doubting thought.

and I'll try to love you better than you do
if you try to love me for the things I wish I could be.
Track Name: colors
Tell me about the blue
how it wounded you
right underneath your eye
like a bee sting
in the summer time
your father carried you away from the hive
under his arm
while you cried

And no I don’t think red looks good on you
you tried your anger on
but it always fit a little loose
oh child of the sky
if the blue it hurts too bad
then look for the green
and see it roll across the land

And tell me about the gold
how it made you old
it was just the setting sun
nut you were young enough
to believe in truth
a girl she stood very close to you
her clothes in her arms
too shy to move

And no I don’t see the turning of the leaves
I tried everything
I don’t know what you want from me
oh child of the sun
if the gold it cuts too deep
remember the good white moon
hanging over your black sleep

Hands up
catch what falls
I saw you cry full rosaries
and then you stopped

Tell me about the rose
how you watched it close
you tacked it on your wall
it dried out nice
it dried out small
you swore that you heard
somebody call
out your name
from down the hall
Track Name: ramblin man
I was born a rambling man
born right onto a road
with no idea where it goes
knife at my hip, and smoke in my hands

But what they saw was a little princess
blue eyes and blonde curls
fair as any girl
but they don’t know how red my skin gets
or how red

when I’m out in the sun
in the back of a truck
and I believe in love
even when it treats me real rough

the sun knows all my secrets
even when it goes down
the moon hangs around
and I beg him but he just can’t keep them

So here I stand in the broad light of day
even thing I’ve become
goes soft in the sun
and I could cry at any stranger’s face

cause I’m gone in my heart
the passenger seat of a car
a old man with white scars
is telling me everything he’s loved

I know just who I am
but I don’t know if I can
make life from the land
with just my two hands
But oh, I will try
Lord by and by
all that is real
is at the edge of the field
I loved you most
when you were a ghost
but now that you’re here
I only feel fear

I was born staring up at the black
born dirty and tired
by an dying campfire
all superstition with no trust in fact
Track Name: chemtrails

The planes, they leave chemtrails in the bright blue sky
like white scratches on my arms in the summer time.
I love this world so much sometimes it makes me want to cry
when I’m standing in the dust waiting for a ride.

I spent a long time with my heart good and broke.
You got a heart like that, it’s like a shard in your throat.
When everything you love is like the side of the road,
and you got a pick-up truck inside your gut
and that thing just goes and goes.

So I moved out to Virginia and I got a degree
and now I am licensed to write the truest poetry.
But the one thing that I learned and I learned begrudgingly
is that the only poems are these kind moments
when the words escape me.

And I go home sometimes, dreaming of your eyes.
I know that I cannot look at them long
cause they break my weary heart.

So I guess I’m going home to the other, stranger coast
where I learned how to fish in my father’s silver boat,
where I learned what to keep and what to let go,
now it all slips between my fingers
and I watch it sinking like a stone.

So I’m sorry my friends for all the weird things I’ve done.
When I act like the dark, when I act like the sun.
I want you all to know I never forget your love,
it is stuck under my heart like bright-pink bubble gum.

And I go home sometimes, dreaming of new skies
but I know that I cannot look to them long
cause they break my weary heart.

Cause I hate saying goodbye
cause I’m always saying goodbye.
It’s like everything I know gets behind me on the road
and I could kiss you tonight.

While the planes they leave chemtrails in the bright blue sky
like white scratches on my arm in the summertime.
I love with world so much sometimes I think I’m gonna die,
when you’re standing in the dust and you’re waving goodbye.
Track Name: happy birthday to me (and the world as I know it)
Happy birthday now to me
happy birthday to this old dog
all I want for my birthday is to feel that old sense of awe

The world it turns
And so do I
I did it, I hit it, then the world turned it other cheek and I kissed it

I saw a boy crucified in the sky
he looked down at the world with the stars in his eyes
I asked him what if anything he’d want
he said all I want is for you to come up

He said the world it hurts
And so do I
I wouldn’t, I knew I shouldn’t, the world’s my little darling and I just couldn’t

Where I always go now I return
the light across the water that’s all I’ve learned
I don’t know whether to be silent or shout
I want to scream at you and hold your hand throughout

In the world, I know you learn, you learn
And so do I
But the quiet and riot both have their songs to sing
And so do you

So what kind of song will we sing to bring the world down to its knees?
And what kind of song will we sing to bring the world up to its feet?

To all my friends I love who have said goodbye
you’re welcome back into my life anytime
and if you just can’t that’s okay by me
you visit me anyway inside my dreams

I know the world, it turns
And so do we
But I keep fighting, I got two lions inside me and a scorpion and a dragon
Track Name: rollercoasters (are for lovers)
Oh, your ego is a monster,
it follows us around like a stalker
but we don't give a damn about this empty boaster,
my friends are I are headed for the rollercoasters.

Every girl I've met has known this monster,
strangers, bosses, boyfriends, fathers,
but the thing about this girl is you will never own her,
she's coming with me, we're going on a rollercoaster.

It shoots us up quick, twists, and then we're among the stars,
do not be afraid my friend to throw your arms up
cause we got we he don't, babe we got love.

I wonder if it's true that privilege makes a monster,
hating all the people you have to watch suffer
then you've got the gall to claim that you are most hurt
well you can't gaslight us when we're on a rollercoaster.

Anything that he can get away with he will,
he's jamming all these camels through the eye of a needle,
at the top of his hotel heaven ain't no closer
but I'm convinced I found it on the rollercoaster.

It shoots us up quick, twists, and then we're among the stars,
do not be afraid my love to throw up your arms because
cause we got we he don't, babe we got love.

At the end of the day when you lie down all you've got is who you are
and all of us will be staring at you, we'll be staring at you from the dark
but that ain't all that true,
we got something better to it.

It shoots us up quick, twists and then we're in the blue sky
all my friends look beautiful, they look beautiful when they cry.
Do you cry cause we got what you don't and we might be right?